Trick Or Treat

With it being Halloween I thought I would pose some trick or treat comparisons to the sports world. I will be talking about the surprise athletes in sports, treats, and the disappointing athletes in sports, tricks.

So let's start with the treats right now in sports. First being Darren Sharper of the New Orleans Saints. Guy was left for dead and now will probably win the NFC Defensive player of the year award. Next would be Kevin Garnett, who looks like he might finally be healed from his knee surgery over the summer. Finally would be Cliff Lee of the Philadelphia Phillies, who was cast off by the Cleveland Indians in July and has looked like Cy Young ever since.

Now for the tricks, and boy there are many. First off would be Shaquille O'Neil of the Cleveland Cavaliers. Has anyone ever needed to retire more than him? Next up would be Jake Delhome. Wow, did he become color-blind, because he seems to mix up what players are on his team and who are on the opositions. This is evident by the thirteen interseptions he has thrown so far this season. Finally would be Nick Swisher, who thought the season ended in September because his 3-for-23 can only mean that he thinks he is on winter vacation already.

So there you have it. Now write back with your picks for tricks or treats and we should have a nice discussion.

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Alright, I Give Up

So I'm finally giving in after all of these years as a baseball purist. I was pissed when the wild card was added. I hate the DH rule. And I can't stand these small ass stadiums that are made just for the homerun to excite the casual fan. But now something I never thought I would want to happen needs to happen. Major League Baseball needs to have instant replay for any call or play during a game!

Now I don't consider myself to be Bob Costas-esk when it comes to being a purist. The wild card has grown on me. Even the replay system as it is didn't bother me until the playoffs, but now it is time for a change. With the unbelievably bad umpiring during these playoffs, MLB needs to realize that they are old and they are in third place behind the NFL and NBA and those leagues have adapted and continue to do so in many areas, including instant replay.

I mean, come on. The umps in MLB are the biggest , out off shape officials in professional sports and we expect them to be able to run down the line to see if a ball hit the line? Also you have replay for everything in the NFL and a majority of things in the NBA and neither sport has a ball flying around at over 90 mph!

So let's just have MLB and the umpire's union just chill out and stop pumping their chests out and realize that it's ok to ask for help. Or they cold continue to look crappy with their calls. What do you think they should do?

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Don't Say The Word "Hate", Unless....

So I have a six year old girl and I'm trying to instill her withthe foundation of being a good person. You know, "love everyone" and "don't lie". Well the other day I found myself in a perplexing position of teaching my daughter that it is ok not to like someone or something. And that person was Kobe Bryant and the team was the Los Angeles Lakers.

I know, I know. I'm going to hell for this one. Someone call CPS on me. But I feel that there are important facts in life that I need to share with my daughter as she is growing up. I DO need to let her know that we hate the Lakers. I DO need to let her know that the Raiders suck. It IS my responsibility to let her know that Manny is a bum because he used to be a Red Sox.

Don't think I'm the only parent who does this. I was at a friends house the other day and we were watching a football game with the kids. My daughter told her friend that she liked the Eagles and asked her what team did she like. Her friend replied I like every team, except the University of Utah. She's five and her Dad is a BYU fan. I couldn't have been prouder of her Dad and his parenting methods at that moment. It made we want to be as good of a father as he is.

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Broncos...Best Team In Football?

Don't call the men with straight jackets just yet. I'm not ready to go to the funny farm this week. But I will say that I am drinking the kool-aid when it comes to the Denver Broncos and after six weeks into the NFL season I ask you to find me a more complete team then them. Not as easy as you would have thought. Well, pull up a chair, pour yourself a glass and I will elaborate more on why I think the Broncos are the best team in the NFL.

First off they can run the ball like nobody's business. They have a hard nosed veteran running back in Corell Buckhalter togo along with the quick-hitting rookie out of Georgia, Knowshon Moreno. Their offensive line is just sick and everyone is still trying to copy how the Broncos run block so effectively.

Next, their recieving core is out of this world. They have a stud in Brandon Marshall, a great possesion-all world special teamer(just ask the Chargers) in Eddie Royal, a crafty, always in the right place at the right time (just askthe Bengals) receiver in Brandon Stokley and two pass-catching stud tightends in Tony Scheffler and Daniel Graham.

Sure they don't have Jay Cutler anymore, but do you think Denver really misses him? They have Kyle Orton, who was part of the Cutler trade, starting at quarterback and they are quite pleased with him. As a matter of fact you would have been laughed out of the Rocky Mountains last spring if after the trade you would have said that six weeks into the season the Broncos would be happier with Orton as their quarterback than they would have been with Cutler still under center.

As for the other side of the ball, the Broncos lead the NFL in scoring defense and have a mind-boggling stat that through six games they have only allowed ten second half points. If you don't have a lead at halftime against them forget about it. Lights out, the party's over. And with Eddie Royal returning punts and kicks as he does, while Matt Prater keeps kicking them from long distance, the special teams looks to be in good hands.

Finally it comes down to coaching and call me crazy, but Josh McDaniels seems like he just has "it". I know it's easy to say at 6-0, but even in some of the tight games they have, he just seems to make the right moves. Well, I know nobody expected Denver to be where they are at now, but soon the league will take notice and I along with Bronco fans won't Bethesda onlyone's saying they are the best team in football. The rest of the NFL will have to admit it also!

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Oh No She Didn't!

Alright, I'm sure I'm going to get a whole lot of crap from my women readers on this one, but it is something that has been bugging me for a long time. Alright, I'm just going to say it...Women sports announcers should not exist! I'm not talking about sideline reporters or the sportscasters on ESPN. I'm talking about the play by play or color commentators. I'll give you my reasons why I think this and they are not as sexist as you would think and if you really want to wipe away the pc bs, you'll probably agree with what I have to say.

I'm going to clear the air up front and say that there are a lot of crappy male sports announcers too, like the ones that say,"we're going to the third quarter" for a hockey game or the ones that say "we are going to the fourth period" of a basketball game. In this sense being stupid is not limited to one sex or the other. It just seems to happen more when females are announcing games. As a matter of fact there is only one famous play by play female announcer, ESPN's Pam Ward (who?) and she is one step short or nails on a chalk board when she is calling a game.

While we are at it, don't you think that it is condisending to women to have them as sideline reporters? I mean every sideline reporter has model level beauty (has there ever been a bigger internet search for pictures online then when the public heard there were naked pictures of Erin Andrews in her hotel room?) To me it is kind of a slap in the face of women telling them that thy can't work in the booth but they can work in the locker room or the sidelines. Sure, you might be pissed off at me for my view on their announcing abbilities, but why not take out your frustrations on greedy network executives that feel that sex sells but on only the field and not in the press box. Hey, I'm just saying, they are the sexist pigs you want to be upset at, not me. I'm just a fan wanting to hear the game like it should be heard, by people that know what they are talking about.

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Don't Get Raidered!

Well with about a third of the season just about done, we take a look back at what has happened so far. We will take a peak at the good, the bad and the Raiders, because let's face it, nobody does ugly like the Raiders do!

Let start off with the good and no better place to start off then in Denver. Did you see the Broncos starting off 5-0 and I'm not talking when you play as them in Madden. What about Bengals being a tipped, craziest play I've ever seen, ball away from 5-0? Remember that ex-Texas Longhorn running back that got arrested for drinking and driving while on his boat? I can hear Cedric Bensen now, "How ya like them apples Chicago?"

Now the bad! You know things have gone so wrong when your fans are chanting for Vince Young to be your starting quarterback. Things are going so bad that Titans fans need another off field murder-suicide to take their minds of the homicides that happen when the Titans take the field on Sundays because they are getting killed out there! The help lines are open in Washington and Tampa as well as they look as good as Obama at a Nobel Peace Award Ceremony.

Finally that leaves us with Raiders. Not just the team but the new adjective that is their name. You've got the Emperor, with his member only jump suit on while sadleback leather skinned senior groupies are at his side shaking their junk while he is making the football decisions like it's still the 60's. They've got a quarterback that can throw the ball seventy yards while on one knee but he can't throw the ball five yards while he is up on both feet. You've got coachs breaking other coach's jaws and the Raiders are the only team that probably wishes there was a camera on their crowd instead of on them because there is more action in the stands then there is on the field. So next time someone at work messes up tell them they just got Raidered. It's the new Munsoned.

There have been some good things that have happened so far this season. There have been some bad things that have happened so far this season. And yes, there have been some Raider things that have happened so far this season. So here's to the next third of the season, let's hope nobody else gets Raidered!

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Enough Already!

I'm so tired of it. We live with it and have to deal with it on a daily basis. Can't we just stop worrying about this crap and just move on? When will enough be enough? When will one or two people stop trying to influence millions and let the people start to think for themselves? I'm talking about race relations and more directly their relationship in sports.

Race was once again brought to the forefront this week when Rush Limbaugh officially threw his name in the hat to be a co-owner of the St. Louis Rams. No, Rush didn't put his foot in his mouth again, ala 2003 when he made cooments about Philadelphia Eagle's quarterback Donovan Mcnabb. But you would have thought he had with the media exposure he is getting. Back in 2003 Limbaugh was at his new job at ESPN on the Monday Night crew. He stated, he thought that Mcnabb was overrated as a quarterback and he only got labled as a good quarterback because he was black.

No, this time Limbaugh was quiet about his attempts to buy the Rams. The two people that are bringing up the past issue are Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson. They both are against the sale to Limbaugh with Jackson stating that it is a privelage to own a team. Hmmm, doesn't sound like they are
into giving people second chances or are they? Wasn't it just a few weeks ago that these guys were backing Michael Vick? Oops, did I let that secret out of the bag? Aren't these the two guys that you could get 1-5 odds will ALWAYS be at the center of anything race related! I mean if you were sitting around tonight and you saw the news teaser about a race situation in sports and that there were going to be two people that commented on the story earlier, wouldn't you bet your kids school fund that it would be Sharpton and Jackson?

How about we stop worrying about how people were in the past and start focussing on how they are today! People change and everyone deserves a second chance. Everyone except Sharpton and Jackson. We are tired of who you were, who you are and who you will be tommorow. It will be the same damn thing we have been hearing and we are ready to move on. You hear that, America is ready for a change and since you are not part of the solution, realize what you really are apart of!

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Revenge Is A Dish....

I remember it like it was yesterday. I was about six years old and I wasn't really sure what it meant, but it sounded good. "Revenge is a dish, best served cold", were the words that Khan uttered to Kirk in Star Trek II. I thought to myself, revenge isn't a meal that I've ever heard of and I like my food to be hot. Well, over twenty-five years later (yea, it makes me cry too), I still like my food hot but I understand about revenge being ruthless, heartless and pretty much frigid. And starting on Friday, I'm wanting my revenge on the Los Angeles, Anaheim, California, Disney Angels of who gives a crap!

I want revenge so bad I can taste it! Revenge for knocking us out of the playoffs in 2002 and 2005. Revenge for being the only team to have a winning record against us while Joe Torre was the manager. Revenge for allowing grown men to wear a frickin red monkey around their necks and think that they look cool. Revenge for thinking you were ever as good as us, The New York Yankees. I want revenge for not letting us play steroid-boy, Barry Bonds, in 2002 in the World Series. I want revenge for knocking us out in 2005 when we would have killed either Chicago or St. Louis in the playoffs. I want revenge for all of those times I had to look up on the scoreboard and see a dumb ass monkey jumping up and down in order to get the crowd excited.

I want revenge for having to hear from all of my friends about who has a World Series title more recently, Anaheim or New York? I want revenge for Giants fans, who have had to wait much longer than Angel fans for a World Series title. I want revenge for Twins fans who had a chance to go to the World Series after almost being retracted a few years prior, man that would have pissed Bud Selig off. I want revenge because the Angels might have been the team to prevent the Yankees from getting one more World Series title at the "House that Ruth Built." I want revenge, because George isn't doing well and he needs one more title before he goes to the luxury box in the sky.

As you can tell, I have some deep-seeded passion, hate, admiration, irritation, anger, frustration, rage, hostility and utter-dislike for the Angels and the way they have played against my Yankees. I'm ready for the series to begin. I'm ready to see the Yanks come to Anaheim and kick Mickey in the butt. I'm ready to see the "Rally Monkeys" crawl off and die. I'm ready to see this Yankee team assert themselves as the dominate team once again in baseball. I'm ready for the ALCS!

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Yea, I Think I Have A Problem

Well at least I think I do. MLB playoffs started today and my favorite team, the Yankees were playing at 3:00 pm and I was on the couch ready to go, but I couldn't get something ot of my mind. It's like that bad song you can't get out of your head after someone has been singing it all day. Only, it wasn't a bad song, it was actually music to my ears. The Celtics were playing in their first pre-season game at 5:30 pm. What was I going to do? Which one would I watch?

The choice should be obvious, I know. Playoff game or pre-season game, playoff game or pre-season game, playoff ga... You get the point and hopefully my dilema. So I'm watching the Yanks play and my thought process goes like this,"ok, the Twins just won am emotional one game playoff to get the chance to play in the post-season and the game had gone twelve innings.... Maybe I'll just luck out and the Yanks will get up big early and I won't have to worry about my horrifying decision that I may have to make." Be strong Chris!

4:00 comes along and the Yanks are losing 2-0 Great, now not only do I have this huge decision to make, but my team is going to lose to a team that it beat seven out of seven times this year. Time to drink the nyquil and play in traffic. 4:30, alright, were getting better, Derek Jeter has hit a two-run homer and Nick Swisher added an RBI double a few innings later and we are up 3-2. Quick side note, has Jeter ever had a bad post-season? He just seems to always get the big hits unlike some people who will remain, cough Arod, nameless. Side note two, I feel strange for wanting to reach through the screen to hug Jeter after his homer. Not that strange though...anyway, moving on.

5:00, Celtics pre-game show is starting. Am I actually watching a pre-game show of a pre-season game over a one-run playoff game? You're damn right I am! Come on Yanks, break it open, end my anguish! 5:30, yes, wheels falling off the feelgood story that is the Twins, Yanks go up 6-2 and just in time for the Celts game.

Of course I switch over on commercials to make sure the Yanks don't blow it. Thankfully they don't. Can't say that much for the Celts since they lose 96-90 to Houston. Am I really that upset over a pre-season game where the starters play like six minutes in the first and third quarters? Again, you're damn right I am! And that's why I have a problem.

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Let The Games Begin!

Here we are and October's real games have started. That is baseball playoffs at its finest. With the amazing 6-5, 12-inning victory by the Minnesota Twins over the Detroit Tigers, baseball's second season has finally begun. We are down to the final eight teams to determine who will be the World Champions of baseball and the playoffs officially begin tomorrow with six of the eight teams opening up their division round series. Now the question remains, who will be the last team standing?

Sure there are plenty of story lines out there. Wouldn't it be great to see Pedro return to Fenway and pitch against the Sox? What about revisiting what used to be the greatest rivalry in baseball, 28 years later since they last met in the fall classic, and have the New York Yankees take on the Los Angeles Dodgers in the winner-takes-all-match? How about the first team to come back from three games down with four games to go, Twins, against the best player in baseball, Albert Pujols, and the series nobody would watch? Sure all of those sound great, but let me break down what I think is going to happen.

To win in a short series of either five or seven games, you need to have a few things on your side. Anyone can win ninety games in the regular season, but winning eleven games over three series is that much tougher to do. First off, you need two stud starting pitchers. OK, so that just eliminated the Twins, Dodgers, Rockies and Angels. Sorry guys, but the jet is ready to take you off to the vacation destination of your choice. That leaves us with the Yankees, Red Sox, Phillies and Cardinals.

Next you have to have an awesome closer that won't make you wet yourself or reach for the bottle every time he starts to warm up in the bullpen. Bye, Bye Phillies, thanks for playing. Next you have to have a good defensive team from a catcher that can throw out runners, to outfielders that can cover the gaps. Aww, bummer Red Sox, better luck next year. That leaves us with the Phillies and the Yankees as the two remaining teams, but there is one more thing that you have to look at when it comes to picking the winning team.

That would be the skipper on the bench. This is the guy that is the glue for the team. He is the one to yell at you for missing the steal sign in the third inning and he is the same guy to give you a hug when you go deep twice in a game. You need someone that has been there before as a manager and has been successful. You need someone who has won a World Series as a manager and not just a player. In this final item, you need to have Charlie Manuel and the Yankees don't have him on their bench, the Phillies do and they will be World Champions when it is all said and done. And you know it is killing me to say this being a Yankees fan!

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Monday Night Magic!

I'm not sure if I have ever been as excited for a Monday Night Football game as I was for tonight's game between the Green Bay Packers and the Minnesota Favre's, err I mean Vikings! And boy did it not disappoint!

You know how you look forward to a great movie that you been so excited to see since you first saw the trailer and then it sucks worse then Al Davis running the Raiders. Or how about a game seven that is about to take place and it turns into more of blowout than Regan-Carter in 1980? That is the fear I carried into Monday night's game on TV. Thankfully the game produced more than A-Rod does in October.

Brett Favre played in his final game as a thirty-something, he turns forty this week. But he was still able to throw for three touchdowns and lead the Vikings to a 30-23 victory over the Packers, Favre's former team. Aaron Rodgers, the Packer quarterback that replaced Favre, played well, throwing for a career high 384 yards in the loss.

I'm just the glad it wasn't a dud like Crystal Pepsi or the last thirty years as a Clippers fan. The game lived up to the hype and so did Favre. But living up to the hype hasn't been a problem for Favre, so we shouldn't be surprised!

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How Do They Do It?

So I'm sitting here on a Saturday night fighting a stomach flu. I can barely move around. Eating anything? Forget about it! Alright, I know I'm a big puss, but it got me thinking how can pro athletes play nightly with injuries and illnesses and heartburn has sidelined me.

So MJ was able to puke up a lung and beat the Jazz. Kirk Gibson couldn't even walk and he was able to beat the A's. Byron Leftwich had to be carried by his linemen in college between plays. And me, I'm writting this article from the crapper and I'm having a hard time concentrating. How do they do it?

I know they have private chefs, massage therapist and groupies to nurse them back to health and keep them fit and I have gingerale, a heating pad and skinamax to keep me going, but I still don't know how they do it.

With that in mind, the next time you are looking like the exorsist or feel like Linda Blair and you are laying on the couch moaning and groaning, remember somewhere someone is playing hurt or sick and you are just being a big puss. Like Ferris Bueller once said,"Be a man and take some Pepto Bismol and come on over!"

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Somebody Needs To Be Burped!

I love it when the new guy at the firm comes in at a higher salary than the guy who has been working there for ten years. Or how about the guy who gets promoted to the same position as you and gets paid more than you? Well, that's what happens in the NFL. There is no official rookie pay-scale as there is the NBA, but usually the way the system works is that when someone gets drafted at a certain spot in the draft, the team and player agree on what the slot was paid last year plus a little bump up. Well, someone forgot to pass the memo to Mr. Michael Crabtree.

Crabtree, by all accounts, was considered one of the top talents in last years drafts. Many expected him to go in the top five and potentially top three. Well, one injury and no-40-yard-dash-in-the-combine-later, he fell to the tenth slot and in the laps of the San Fransisco 49ers. Can you imagine what scene of bedlam was taking place in the 49ers draft room when he fell in their laps? I can see it now, grown men hugging, young girls dancing, prank phone calls to Al Davis congratulating him on passing on Crabtree and taking Darius Hayward Bay a few picks earlier. All was well in the front office, until the negotiating started to take place.

You see, Crabtree was drafted tenth, but he thinks he is better then those drafted ahead of him so he wants top five money. What he doesn't understand is that it doesn't quite work that way, but you try telling him that. He wants somewhere in the neighborhood of $40 million over four years. This just in, that would make him the highest paid wide-out in the NFL, for a guy that hasn't even taking a snap in the NFL coming off a knee injury. Of course the 49ers were not going to be pushed around and pay that type of money for the tenth pick. If he were the third pick they would pay him what the third pick should be paid. But, being the tenth pick they are going to pay him what the tenth pick should be paid. I'm curious, shouldn't Crabtree be grateful for the money he is about to be paid? I mean, with the guaranteed money he is going to get at the 10th pick he is set even if he were to break a leg on the first day of practice.

Well, November 17th is the date that we will see if someone is going to blink. That is the day the 49ers have to have him signed by or he will go back into the draft and this fiasco will start all over again, probably with another team though. And no, the 49ers can't just trade him right now, they have to sign him and then trade him on or after March 3rd. Well, I know if I were a player in the NFL, I'd be pissed. Here is someone just coming into the league and trying to get paid more than I am. Perhaps one day there will be a rookie salary structure. Maybe the players that actually have shed the blood, sweat and tears in the league will be the ones being paid what they deserve. If not, then the NFL should really stop calling themselves the National Football League and refer to themselves as what they truly represent, No F***ing Loyalty!

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