Things You Don't Do At A Fantasy Football Draft

So it's the night of your first Fantasy Football draft (I say first, because if you are like me, it is the first of many Fantasy Football drafts to come this year) and you need to be prepared about what to do and what not to do. I'm not talking about depth charts and player rankings. I'm talking about not making a fool out of yourself in front of your buddies. Because trust me, if you stay in the same league, draft night stories of you being an idiot will be repeated year after year after year. Consider this a gift from me to you. Listen to my words and follow my advice and you too don't have to be the butt of jokes for years to come.

First rule, and maybe the most important rule in Fantasy Football, is know who has been drafted. Nothing like..."Um I'll take Roddy White." "Dude, he was picked three rounds ago." "Oh, OK, um...I'll take Carson Palmer." "Dude, he was taken three picks ago." Don't be that guy! I repeat, DON'T BE THAT GUY! It is somewhat excusable by round 12 or 13 when people are picking their backup defence and kicker to ask, "Hey, was this guy taken?" However, if you are asking this question in the fourth round, just give the commissioner your money and tell him to call you after the draft and let you know who is on your team. Second rule is to show up on time, don't take forever on your picks and stay the whole time. I know, these sounds like three seperate rules, but really it is all about time management. Nobody likes to wait for someone to show up to the draft for it to start. Dude, we have been waiting since early February for this day, act like you are excited too! Now I'm not talking about sleeping on the commish's lawn the night before, but if you want to be there with the morning paper ready for him, I'm not going to judge. Also, I like five hour rounds of golf, three hour baseball games and even watching back to back re-runs of Married With Children. What I don't like is the nine-hour draft that goes till five in the morning. I'm not 19 any more, I don't have to prove that I can stay out until the bars close. Lastly, this just bugs me so I had to put it in here with this group, don't pick your starters and then pull the, "Well, uh, my wife wanted me home by midnight, could you please pick my subs?" "Sure thing buddy, but before you go, let me ask you, what are your feelings about having all your backups being Detroit Lion players?" Again, time management.

The final rule I'm going to put in, trust me we could be here all night but I have a fantasy draft to get to is, don't pay your entry fee by check. There is something more macho about breaking out the cash and having it sit in a tight stack on the table. You could be creative and bring a jar of pennies, or maybe pay in food stamps, but not a check. Oh and if for some reason the ATM machine is just too hard for you to get to and you have to pay by check, make sure your wife makes out the check. Hey, I'm just trying to provide your league with stories for years to come that they can make fun of you with!

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